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Under Construction.

A fashion-crust Pollack, a dude that looks like if Ben Franklin was young and handsome, a drunken 90lb weakling and a hair-farming little guy that looks like he either parties with the Beastie Boys or the Arab Spring walk into a bar. Sounds like the start of a pretty good joke right? Well, this joke calls itself the Holy Mess and chances are that it walks into a bar, breaks a bunch of things, insults a few people, angrily grumbles and then melts your dick right off your pelvis with their sloppily aggressive take on the already sloppy and aggressive pop punk sound popularized by bands like Dillinger 4 and Lifetime. The punchline of the joke is that the Holy Mess don't give a fuck on a level so profound that when I asked them some history so I could write this bio I just got a message back that said "if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass." Yet somehow, they have managed to crank out a modern masterpiece of booze soaked, regret fueled bangers that they've foolishly titled "Cande Ru Las Degas" and even more foolishly left up to the flying monkeys over at Red Scare Industries to disseminate to the masses, and said dissemination will commence August 2012, so hold onto your fancy opera glasses, grandpa. -Brendan Kelly